Pearl Harbor was a particularly humbling experience for me, as it is for many people. We watched a movie before we took the boat ride out to the USS Arizona Memorial, and the park ranger really emphasized how this is not a tourist attraction, but a cemetery, and how there were likely many in the room who were personally affected by the results of the attack on Pearl Harbor. I have the utmost respect for those who serve this country in the military, in times of peace, and of course most particularly in times of war.
According to the National Park Service,There were 1.4 million gallons of fuel on the USS Arizona when she sank. Over 60 years later, approximately two quarts a day still surfaces from the ship. Pearl Harbor survivors refer to the oil droplets as "Black Tears."
There was so much history there at Pearl Harbor, part of me wanted to focus on happened there in 1941, but with the recent casualties of “war” in my own life, it was hard to emotionally get beyond my own devastation.
Many things I learned about Pearl Harbor pierced my heart and gave me so much cause for reflection. I read about the radar warnings and how they were dismissed. There were a lot of Japanese people in Hawaii, and also at Pearl Harbor. I was surprised at the emotions that came to me at the replica of the Japanese warship, as I became resentful of the Japanese people, standing there as tourists, just as was. I read about the ‘survivors’, and the guilt they felt for being allowed to live.
So many parallels. There were warning signs that John was not mentally stable, and oh how I wish that I had taken some action to prevent the surprise attack on Todd Rogers late in the evening of June 30, 2007. I saw the warning signs, but dismissed them as not being too serious. Life is not fair, and it is tempting to be angry and bitter. I feel strongly that it is so much better to learn how to forgive. Sometimes the anger is directed at specific individuals, at God, at those who have more than you, or an entire people. There are times where emotions will come, but that is not an excuse to treat others disrespectfully. For the record, I have nothing against Japanese. As a matter of fact, I had just met a new friend from Japan the week prior at my Aunt's house. I was surprised that I felt angry, even if for a brief moment, and also happy that it left just as quickly as it came. Emotions surfacing from personal losses in my life are not so unexpected. I find myself all to often so consumed with my own loss that it's hard to be patient, or even nice to others. That's something I need to keep working on. The best way to honor Todd's memory is to continue to become the kind of person that he believed I was.
Many things I learned about Pearl Harbor pierced my heart and gave me so much cause for reflection. I read about the radar warnings and how they were dismissed. There were a lot of Japanese people in Hawaii, and also at Pearl Harbor. I was surprised at the emotions that came to me at the replica of the Japanese warship, as I became resentful of the Japanese people, standing there as tourists, just as was. I read about the ‘survivors’, and the guilt they felt for being allowed to live.
So many parallels. There were warning signs that John was not mentally stable, and oh how I wish that I had taken some action to prevent the surprise attack on Todd Rogers late in the evening of June 30, 2007. I saw the warning signs, but dismissed them as not being too serious. Life is not fair, and it is tempting to be angry and bitter. I feel strongly that it is so much better to learn how to forgive. Sometimes the anger is directed at specific individuals, at God, at those who have more than you, or an entire people. There are times where emotions will come, but that is not an excuse to treat others disrespectfully. For the record, I have nothing against Japanese. As a matter of fact, I had just met a new friend from Japan the week prior at my Aunt's house. I was surprised that I felt angry, even if for a brief moment, and also happy that it left just as quickly as it came. Emotions surfacing from personal losses in my life are not so unexpected. I find myself all to often so consumed with my own loss that it's hard to be patient, or even nice to others. That's something I need to keep working on. The best way to honor Todd's memory is to continue to become the kind of person that he believed I was.
I bet the families truly appreciate this memorial to their loved ones. It's nice to have the recognition of others of the deep whole that is left when there are causalties of "war".
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